Poop In My Trousers - Plights of Travel
This one may be a bit off kilter but is a reality when travelling, especially in third world countries. Let’s be honest, how many times have you shit your pants? Keep in mind that below the ages of nine or during human potty training don’t count. I’m currently at four. One was in Chile during a very wild morning which probably was completely associated to alcohol, and the other three were in New Zealand.
During my latest world paddling tour I only became ill once, safely making in through both Nepal and Africa without incidence. India however, reigned supreme in the fight for my bowels striking at the most opportune time, in transit. Shortly after Christmas I flew from New Delhi, India, to Auckland, New Zealand on an Air Malaysia flight. From the start things were doomed. The flight was already delayed well over two hours, meaning that we’d completely miss our connection in Kuala Lumpar and as a result the company put us up in a five star hotel only to catch a flight twenty four hours later the next day. As I entered my wonderful hotel room I felt my stomach do a somersault and knew that I was in for it.
For the next week and a half India got the best of me, forcing my body to devulge whatever sickness lay inside. Liquid diaherra, fever, vomiting, shaking, and passing out during the flight all were included in my “Delhi Belly” package. I was hospitalized twice in Auckland only later to fly out still ill to kayak on the South Island. Knowing after to traveling to such countries that my sickness would only be a matter of time, I never knew how bad it would literally get till I honestly thought I might die via pooping all liquids out of my system while on the flight to New Zealand. Thankfully after two solid of weeks of not being able to hold anything down and stubborningly losing my bowels three times, twice in the car and once while kayaking, the sickness finally went away, ironically, on the New Year.
After various tests and professional care the culprit was a consumed piece of feces. For those of you reading this I’m now going to offer some advice whislt traveling abroad in feces laden countries. Ciproflaxin, anti-giardia, and chewable peptobismal tablets are a must. Bring them along, not just in case, but because it’s only a matter of time before you’re warped back into childhood and pooping your pants again.