Confession.
I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass. I’m tired. Tired of bouncing all over, writing this damn blog, and wondering what the hell I’m going to do next.
Carpe Gnar. It was a joke to name this site such a term. I’m not “gnarly”, I’m just a guy who’s chased his dreams. Now my dreams and goals have been completed. Thus, a new chapter begins. One that involves more mountains, rivers, a permanent residence, a dog, maybe a significant other, and a reentrance into the “real world,” however, it will be on my terms. Void of bullshit, posers, non-dreamers.
A lot of people asked me what I’ve learned in the last two years of traveling. After milling over it for quite some time, here’s my answer. Quality of life. What do you value? What do you need to be happy? I went from working a stupid job where I wasn’t allowed the freedom to think, challenge, or live, to chasing what I loved more than anything, all over the world. I spent everything I had mentally, physically, and financially to chase these dreams. It was beautiful. In the end, the one thing I can take away sans great memories and experiences, is that I now know what makes me happy. Is this the secret to happiness, fuck no, but it’s a step.
Carpe Gnar will end in February when the domain expires. This will be the last post. I will maintain my whitewater blog, but the rest will be deleted. While this will probably only be read by Sammy boy, I’ve hope you enjoyed at least a little bit of the experiences I had while romping around.
My grandmother, my inspiration and whose words can be witnessed on the entrance page of the site, is now 95 years old and dying. Webster City, Iowa, the place where we both lived for the majority of our lives, has deemed September 19th, her birthday, Jean McMurray day, in honor of her, the service to the community, and her life. I just visited her. She just smiled and gave me a wink when we said our goodbyes. While I don’t know if I’ll see her alive again, I do know that she understands the secret to happiness and will undoubtedly pass away happy.
Someday we’ll die. Then nothing matters, only what we did. A really amazing woman once told me that we are simply the culmination of our experiences. I couldn’t agree with her more.